A Classic Team Bonding Initiative
by DakotaPanther
Summary: Ryoma might be over his head when he gets dragged into interviewing for his first job. However, it isn't the corporate greed that he's struggling with. Keeping his teammates turned coworkers entertained while maintaining his sanity is more of Ryoma's plight. [Slight AU: high school]


**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Takeshi Konomi.** **This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.**

 **That being said, thanks for reading!**

Ryoma sighed.

How he got himself stuck working in this shithole was beyond him. All he wanted to do was go play tennis with his tightly knit group of friends (not that he would tell them how much he actually cares about their company because Ryoma Echizen doesn't do that). However, he was in high school now. With the threat of college tuition and student loans around the corner, the older tennis kids started looking for employment.

Was Ryoma worried about being in debt to the government for the rest of his life? Absolutely not. He was certain that he would score a tennis scholarship that would guarantee him paying little to no money to college. However, when Momo brought up that more than a few varsity tennis players had managed to get jobs at a tanning salon franchise, his bastard old man had insisted that Ryoma work there, as well.

Now that he thought about it, Ryoma should have expected this turn in events. For some reason that's beyond Ryoma, he knows that his best friend and idiot father hang out sometimes. They insist that it's always coincidental encounters, but that option has to be bull. Momo is always looking for ways to drag Ryoma into his messes. And his old man is always looking for ways to get Ryoma out of the house. (Something about needing social skills. To hell with socializing!) Needless to say, Ryoma half assed the interview.

 _Ryoma was interviewed by a woman with short bleach blonde hair who looked to be in her late twenties. But Ryoma has trouble telling people's ages. All Ryoma knows for sure is that if they're older than him they're old. (If he didn't know Tezuka, he would have assumed the boy was at least in his thirties. Not only a few short years older than him!)_

" _Hello Ryoma! Your teammates have told me about you! I'm Jordan, the regional manager of the Riverside Tanning Salons in the area." Cue uncomfortable handshake. Ryoma was out of his element, but he still mentally put the handshake in the category he deemed 'limp fish'. Honestly, he appreciated the gesture, but have some grip, lady. Ahem. Jordan. Mentally slapping himself, he attempted to get his train of thought off of his possible boss' terrible handshaking skills and back on topic. It's too damn easy to get distracted. Ryoma has never had a job interview before, so he didn't know what to expect. He certainly struggles with being polite._

" _N-nice to meet you as well."_

" _Let's get this interview rolling. If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would you choose and why?"_

 _What type of question was that? That gave her absolutely no information about who he was as a worker. A smirk in amusement threatened to surface in his countenance. He decided that bullshitting this interview may actually provide him with some entertainment. "I would have dinner with the original most interesting man in the world. He has a pretty sick beard." She snorted in what was most likely amusement and scribbled something down._

" _Next question, where do you see yourself in five years?"_

" _Not here." Ryoma said bluntly._

" _Is that all?" She looked like she was trying to be patient. Ryoma studied her, but could detect no annoyance in her eyes._

" _Five years is a long time, Miss. Maybe I'll be playing with my cat, Karupin..?" More scribbles. The scratching of her pencil on the paper was a little grating, but it seemed to only get on Ryoma's nerves, while she seemed blissfully unaware._

" _Do you have a reliable mode of transportation?"_

" _No, I get rides from my friends sometimes." Most times. But she doesn't need to know that._

" _Do you see yourself as responsible and reliable?"_

 _Ryoma thought. Saying no would make it obvious to anyone that he was throwing the interview. "Tch, Sure."_

" _Thank you, Ryoma. I will let you know." Another awkward handshake. Ryoma wanted to pull his hair out at this but figured it wasn't worth it to lose his cool when he made it through the interview. Also annoying characters are already an integral part of his daily life. One more wouldn't kill him. Hopefully._

Ryoma was so sure he wouldn't get the job. But when he got home from school and tennis practice the next day his old man looked much too smug to be normal. The salon must be more desperate than he thought. Or perhaps Ryoma just wasn't annoying enough. Damn. Horio makes being obnoxious look easy, but Ryoma never thought he would be envious.

Anyway, today is Ryoma's first day working. While the job was not deplorable, Ryoma would rather be sleeping. But that's normal for most non-tennis-related activities that he participates in. He let another sigh escape his lips. He had only seen a handful of people during his shift (it _is_ a tanning salon in the tail end of summer, after all) but people are exhausting, no matter the number.

"OCHIBI!" Oh, speaking of exhausting, today he was being trained how to do his job by Kikumaru-senpai, who has been unnecessarily glomping him when he drops his guard. "We've been killing it in sales! If only more people would come in, though.. nya~" Oh yeah, another shady aspect of his current employment. Ryoma was pretty sure that you had to be over eighteen to be in charge of sales of any kind, since a myriad of things could happen that would result in losing the money in the cash drawer. However, the regional manager didn't bat an eye at hiring a fifteen year old for sales. Not that Ryoma is complaining. He has bigger things to worry about than the shady crap going on in corporate tanning land. For example, the feline-like male who is currently cutting off his oxygen supply.

"Kikumaru...senpai..." He struggled to get out. "I...need..air.."

And just like that Kikumaru let him go. "Sorry Ochibi!" Kikumaru shifted from foot to foot. "I just get antsy when there's not much to do, nya."

Even though Ryoma fell to the floor, wheezing and attempting not to black out, he understood. Heck, he could sympathize. It was boring as hell. He needed to come up with a distraction before his senpai unintentionally killed him.

"How about we play a game?"

And of course, there goes Kikumaru's eyes widening and he could swear he saw them sparkle in excitement. "What type of game, nya?" Despite the older boy being a little under double Ryoma's height, he definitely was still a child.

By now, Ryoma could definitely feel the corners of his mouth twitching upward. It probably wasn't normal for him to smirk this much, but he couldn't help it. It's as close as he gets to genuine human expression on a daily basis. "The rules of the game are simple. I hide, and you look for me. However, I can hide _anywhere_ in the store and you only have twenty minutes to look for me." Even as Ryoma spoke, his mental gears were turning on where he could conceal himself. He was determined to not lose. (He hates to lose, whether it be in tennis or hide-and-seek.)

"Sounds fun, but I won't lose to you, Ochibi. My eyes are the sharpest in all of Seigaku. You won't be able to get away from me." Kikumaru clearly didn't need any encouragement. He could practically see the flames of determination in his senpai's eyes (not that that's the type of thing you can see). Damn, that boy's eyes are expressive.

"Pfft. Turn around so I can hide, senpai."

"Oh. Yeah. I didn't think about that part. Good luck, Ochibi." And just like that, the game was on.

Ryoma meandered throughout the salon. He thought about climbing on a machine, maybe a tall spray tan machine, but with Kikumaru's better than perfect vision, he would be found out much earlier than the 20 minutes he needs to stay incognito for. _Wait_. Kikumaru would be _looking_ for him. Ryoma can work around that. He needed to be somewhere that Kikumaru can't see but also wouldn't think to look. Oh, and in the store. But where would that be. Ryoma stared at the ceiling in frustration and thought. But the frustration dissipated quickly. "Mada Mada dane."

Stealthily, the prodigy climbed onto the top of the shelf in the break room, using the lower shelf 'floors' as steps. Being lighter than is normal for athletes of his age is finally coming in handy, huh. Somehow this scenario never came to mind as the pay off that he _definitely wasn't_ picturing for his genetics that have led to handicaps time and time again, but it'll do for now. Pushing up on the ceiling tile, he couldn't help but let out a startled and violent cough when he breathed in the air. Not only was it stifled, it was insanely dusty and had a deep musk that Ryoma could have went his entire life without smelling. Yeah, it wasn't pleasant in the least. But it was what would win the impromptu game of hide-and-seek. Damn, he is an idiot. Ryoma cursed his need to compete and crawled up into the dark. After adjusting the ceiling tile to appear as if he did not just move it for his entrance into that dark, fetid hell, he shifted to get into a comfortable position and yelled to his senpai that he was ready to start their time.

He could hear the hyper teen prancing around the store. Describing him as bull in a china shop would be an understatement. From what Ryoma heard, the older boy was more akin to a natural disaster terrorizing an unexpecting town. Ryoma could only picture what was happening down there. Kikumaru senpai was probably bouncing off the walls with the occasional "hoi hoi" and using the door frames to do his unnecessary showy flips that he makes seem as easy as returning a serve in tennis (not that they weren't both impressive and entertaining to watch).

Seven minutes had passed when the cat-boy got quiet, and Ryoma could no longer use the excessive noise to gauge the general location of the his opponent in hide-and-seek. This took away Ryoma's comfort to move whenever he knew Kikumaru was on the other side of the store. There was no safety now. Even still, there was no way that Ryoma would be psyched out. His spot was fool proof. Aside from that it was hellish, but nothing he couldn't handle.

Ten minutes in he overheard Kikumaru-senpai talking to himself. He _couldn't_ be talking to _Ryoma_ , he didn't know where Ryoma was, so he would have to yell if he hoped for the short boy to hear him. "Hoi, if I was a clever Ochibi, where would I hide? Nya. He wouldn't break the rules, but he would push them as far as his short little legs will let him." Immediately after the words, the boy let out a long exhale. Either Kikumaru was playing mind games, or he was stumped. Ryoma would expect mental warfare from Fuji-senpai, but his feline-like senpai has never hesitated to wear his heart on his sleeve. At this thought, Ryoma figured there was no harm in a short nap. It was highly unlikely that his location has been compromised, and even if it has, there's nothing he can do about it. So he closed his eyes and drifted off...

Eighteen minutes into the game, Ryoma had a weird sensation of being watched, but the veil of sleep was too tempting to open his eyes and look around. However, the feeling didn't go away. He felt something light on his arm, like it was being tickled. As it moved higher and higher up his limb, Ryoma cracked an eye open to see who or what was invading his personal space. He expected to see the familiar expressive eyes of his friend full of the pride of victory, but instead he saw eight small beady eyes. A brown spider at least the size of his fist was on his arm and was getting closer and closer to his face. Now, Ryoma never considered himself intimidated of bugs before. He understands that they're probably more afraid of us than we are of them.

However, that spider was _big_. Awakening in a dark, foul-smelling area with that little (not little) shit _on him_ was enough to catch his breath in his throat. He felt claustrophobic all the sudden. The game just fell off of his priority list and was now under getting the eff away from the spider that could possibly take a chomp out of him at any moment. Ryoma called out as loud as he dared. The last thing he needed was the spider to get spooked. "Kikumaru-senpai! I'm in the ceiling above the shelf in the workroom! I don't want to play this game anymore!"

Ryoma heard the clatter of plastic tables and what was probably expensive tanning equipment. "I win~ Hoi?..." Kikumaru said as he lifted up the ceiling tile next to where Ryoma resided. He sounded triumphant (if not slightly annoyed that the game was called off early) until he trailed off when he saw the predicament his kohai was in. "I'll be back, nya! Don't move Ochibi! I don't trust your new friend."

When his senpai's face popped into the ceiling the second time, he had a broom with him. He then shoved the brush end at Ryoma's midriff where his arm had been resting during his nap that had been cut short. "Get off of Ochibi, Gerald!" The second the spider had been shot into the darkness that is the tanning salon's ceiling, Ryoma jumped into the light. Never mind the fall, he landed on his friend-turned-savior. They say cats always land on their feet, but that's not what happened this time.

They laid on the ground unceremoniously for some time until Ryoma spoke up, embarrassed "Thanks senpai." He didn't know what else to say.

Kikumaru just smiled, flashing his insanely white teeth and hugged Ryoma. This time there were no complaints from Ryoma or attempts to push him away. At that moment he wasn't Seigaku's pillar of support. He was just a kid who was scared of a spider and needed a friend. Responsibility can wait.


End file.
